The Wolfboy Who Shagged Me
Peter Kamphuis (email@example.com or firstname.lastname@example.org)
10 May 2000
This is a work of fiction. Please note that I'm not implying anything about the sexuality of either Seth Green or Mike Myers.
If you are likely to be offended by the idea of male/male love, or male/male sex, then please leave now!
This story came out of the blue to me... I've been reading a fair amount of BtVS (Buffy: the Vampire Slayer) slash fiction recently, and 'Oz' has been on my mind for a while. So, I expected an 'Oz' story to pop into my head. Well, imagine my surprise when the story happened to be about 'Seth Green' instead of 'Daniel Osborne'! And with 'Mike Myers' thrown into the mix, it had me quite intrigued! Just a note - I haven't seen either of the Austin Powers movies in many months, so I don't know why I picked up on Seth/Mike, instead of Oz/anyone-in-buffy...
Anyway, here's the result of my... strange... imagination. :)
Feedback is greatly appreciated.
The Wolfboy Who Shagged Me - Part 1
Seth Green looked up at his agent and smiled broadly. "Legit?" he asked in a hopeful tone, even though concrete evidence - in the form of the contract - was resting in his slightly trembling hands.
"Sure is. He asked for you personally. He said he really liked what he's seen of you - especially your work on 'Buffy'."
Seth looked back down at the contract and couldn't stop himself grinning - even if his life had depended on it. Who would have believed it? Mike Myers, asking for him, personally, to star in his next movie! It was like a dream come true!
"Where do I gotta sign?" he asked his agent, suddenly feeling insecure - as if in delaying the signing of the contract, Mike would change his mind about using him.
"Whoa, Seth! Don't you want to read the script first before you go signing your career away?"
Seth thought for a beat. "Nah!" he replied, grinning maniacally. "Let's get it over with, and I'll read the script later."
"Okay, kiddo," his agent replied unhappily, eyebrows meeting in the middle of his forehead. He wasn't sure this was a good career move on the kid's part, even though Mike Myers was the latest up-and-coming Hollywood Darling. He held out his hand and took the contract from Seth, flipping pages till he got to the correct location.
"Sign here," he said, turning the contract around and placing it on the desk in front of Seth while pointing to the relevant clearing in the text. "And on the following page, in the same general location." He watched Seth sign in both locations, then picked up the contract and signed it as Seth's witness. "Okay. That's about it. Congratulations, Seth."
"Thank you," Seth said, grinning from ear to ear as he shook Daniel's hand. He stood up to leave.
"Hang on, Seth. Don't forget the script!"
Seth looked at his agent sheepishly before reaching out to take the proffered script. "Thanks, Danny."
"Not a problem, kiddo. Now, get out of here and learn those lines. See you later." Daniel smiled encouragingly at his client, knowing that Seth needed little time to study the script. The boy was truly amazing when it came to learning lines.
"'Kay, seeya," Seth said, leaving the office. He pulled the door shut behind him, and looked at the title of the script. It read: Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery. Stapled to the front of the script was a small piece of paper containing the name of the character he had just signed himself into playing: Scott Evil.
He couldn't help but grin at the title and the name. It sounded like fun already. And deep down, where his gut-instincts had never failed him in the past, he had a sense that something special was going to happen...
Mike Myers walked silently onto the set of 'Buffy: the Vampire Slayer', and found an unobtrusive spot behind one of the studio cameras to wait for his newest cast member to finish his shoot.
"Okay, everyone, that's a wrap for today. Nice work, Sarah. And you too, David," the director said a short time later, alerting Mike to the fact that the day's filming had finished.
He walked forward, quickly, before Seth had a chance to disappear, and came to rest against a table on the 'Library' set they'd been filming in. "Ah, excuse me?" he said, trying to be just loud enough to attract Seth's attention. Unfortunately, the director had paused in giving out his orders, and Mike's voice was heard clearly by everyone on the sound stage.
Several people turned to look at him; their expressions quickly changing from curious and irritated to surprised and amazed.
"Mr. Myers!" Seth called out, surprised to see Mike there. He suddenly had a sinking feeling that Mike was here to tell him that the contract had been terminated and that he didn't want Seth to play the part of Scott Evil anymore. But his brain kicked in at that point, and he realised that Mike wouldn't have gone to all the trouble of personally coming to see him just to tell him that. That's what agents were for...
"Ah, can I help you with anything, Mr. Myers?" the director asked solicitously.
"Actually, I came to see Seth Green, if he's available?" Mike had been facing the director as he started his reply, but his eyes settled on Seth by the time he had finished. He raised an eyebrow to re-iterate the question.
"Sure, Mr. Myers. I'm all done he-"
Mike interrupted as soon as he heard Seth's first words. "Please, Seth. If we're going to be working together, you'll have to drop the 'Mr. Myers' bit, okay? Just call me Mike." He grinned hugely at Seth, taking in peripherally the almost silent gasps coming from Sarah Michelle Gellar and the man he vaguely recalled played the part of her vampire lover. His grin deepened as he realised that Seth hadn't told them, yet, that he'd signed on to play a part in the Austin Powers movie.
"Um, sure, Mike. No problems," Seth replied, returning the grin. "If you'd like to follow me to my dressing room, we can talk there, if you'd like."
"Yeah, sounds fine," Mike replied, easily.
"Okay, follow me."
As Seth took the lead, he couldn't help but grin at the odd looks that David and Sarah threw his way. He knew what they were silently asking: 'We want to know EVERYTHING!'
It was a bit disappointing that he hadn't had the chance to tell them the news himself, but he couldn't have wished for a better way to surprise them... The looks on their faces were priceless!
As they walked, he couldn't help but be conscious of the presence next to him. Mike Myers seemed to radiate an almost visible charm. The man hadn't stopped smiling for a second, and he seemed to take everything in his stride. He was as easy-going as Seth had heard from his peers.
"If you don't mind my asking, what's the storyline for the episode you're currently taping?" Mike asked, breaking into Seth's thoughts.
"Oh, I don't mind," Seth replied, coming to a stop in front of a door and opening it. He waved Mike through with an "After you," and then followed him inside, closing the door behind them.
As he started to explain the plotline to his visitor, he took the liberty of removing his makeup and changing into his street clothes. He was slightly self-conscious of changing in front of Mike, but knew that it would become a regular occurrence once they started filming the movie.
Mike mostly remained silent during the outlining of the plot, laughing on occasion at some of the scenes that Seth had described, and once in a while asking a question. Though he was genuinely interested in hearing what Seth had to say, he suspected that Seth was thinking that he was only being polite. That was something that he and Seth were going to have to work on...
Seth, for his part, was starting to get comfortable in Mike's presence. Mike wasn't acting like he was on a schedule, or just wanting to talk business. He seemed to be a genuine sort of person.
"I should probably stop now," Seth said, feeling like he'd monopolised enough of Mike's time. "You probably want to discuss business, Mr.- oops, sorry - Mike."
"Nice save," Mike said, grinning again. "But there's no rush, really. I was enjoying the story. It was fun to hear what happens behind the scenes of your show. I know that from my own experiences -- I often think that the behind-the-scenes stuff is generally funnier than the stuff we manage to get on film."
Seth smiled, feeling absurdly warm at the interest Mike was paying in him. "Yeah, I know what you mean. Take what happened last week..."
And that's how they continued talking for over an hour, before Mike regretfully brought it to a halt.
"Sorry, Seth. I'm going to have to go. I've got a dinner appointment I can't get out of. But thanks for talking to me."
"But, Mike," Seth said, suddenly appalled that he'd wasted the man's precious time. "We didn't talk about the movie at all! I'm so sorry for getting carried away like that..."
"Hey, Seth, take it easy!" Mike said kindly, smiling at his young co-star. "I didn't actually come here to discuss business anyway, so there's no harm done."
"You didn't?" Seth asked, confused.
"No. I came here to speak to you," Mike admitted. "I wanted to make sure that we got along before we started shooting the movie. I had a feeling we would, and I'm glad to see that that's true."
"Oh," Seth said, calming down significantly. "It's like a... kind of test, is it?" he asked nervously.
"No, buddy," Mike said reassuringly. "Even though I do the same thing with everyone I act opposite to, it's not a 'test' at all. I just like getting to know my fellow actors better. It makes it easier to work on the set. And if I develop a friendship with the actor or actress in question, all the better."
"Ah," Seth said, somewhat mollified, as Mike stood to leave. Then he had a thought. "But, hang on a sec. You and I don't actually share any scenes in the movie, so why would you need to go to the trouble of meeting me?"
"Who says we don't share any scenes?" Mike asked, gently smirking.
Seth had to think back to what he'd read in the script. As far as he was aware there weren't many scenes - actually, none that he could recall - where his character, 'Scott Evil', played opposite Mike's character, 'Austin Powers'... Could that mean...?
"You don't play the part of Austin Powers?" he asked curiously, voicing his suspicion. If Mike and he were sharing scenes, then maybe Mike didn't play 'Austin Powers' in the movie. Maybe he played the other big role - 'Dr. Evil'. The thought was enough to excite him in a way that surprised, and confused, him.
"Oh, no. I do play the part of Austin Powers," Mike replied, grinning at Seth. He noticed an almost miniscule change in the youngster's expression, and wondered what it meant?
Seth had valiantly tried to hide the disappointment which had flooded him, and felt perturbed by the feeling. He didn't understand why he was disappointed that he wouldn't play opposite Mike onscreen...
Mike wasn't above a little teasing. While it worried him to see the change in expression on Seth's face, he didn't know what it meant, so he ignored it. He made sure that Seth was looking up at him as he placed his right hand's little finger to the right-hand tip of his mouth, with the palm facing outward, and the other fingers splayed below in a gentle curve - the trademark pose of Dr. Evil.
"Say hello to Daddy, Scott," Mike said, in his Dr. Evil voice. He broke out into laughter as Seth's face magically changed as comprehension hit.
Seth found himself beaming happily as his wishes were answered -- Mike was also playing the part of Dr. Evil! He joined in with Mike's laughter, feeling relieved and excited, and wondering why - all of a sudden - he was ecstatic at the thought of being near Mike during the shoot?
Mike settled down finally and opened the door to Seth's dressing room. "Thanks for taking the time to talk to me, Seth. It was fun! Can I ask a favour, though?"
"Sure," Seth replied, eager to prolong Mike's stay.
"If you're shooting tomorrow, can I please come and watch? I've always wanted to see what goes on behind the scenes of this show. And I need to talk to you about the movie in any case."
"Yeah, that shouldn't be a problem, Mike. We start shooting at 10:00 am. Come by anytime you'd like after that. I'll let the guards at the gate know that you'll be popping in."
"Okay, thanks for that. I'll see you tomorrow. 'Bye, dude."
"Seeya, Mike. And thanks for dropping by."
"Not a prob, Seth. Catch ya later."
Seth watched the door close and couldn't understand why he felt both happy and empty at the same time... He had some thinking to do about the odd feelings he'd felt during Mike's visit.
A knock on the door roused him from his ruminations.
The director popped his head inside. "How are things, Seth?"
"Yeah, they're okay," Seth replied reticently.
"So, you and Mike Myers are going to be working together?" the director asked in a faked nonchalant tone, obviously digging for more information.
"Yeah, I'll be working on his new movie. He just dropped by to have a little chat. Oh, before I forget... Can you let the guard-station know that he'll be coming back tomorrow morning? He'd like to watch us tape a bit of the show."
"Sure thing," the director replied, surprised to hear that Mike Myers would be coming back to watch them work. He looked into Seth's eyes and realised that the young man wasn't keen to talk any more; something he had in common with his character, Oz, in the 'Buffy' series. Oh well, he could take a hint.
"See you later, Seth. Get an early night, okay? Remember, your scenes are first up in the morning."
Seth stared at the door for a long time after it had closed, unable to move from the spot he was rooted to. His face held a look of horror, and his insides had twisted in panic, as he recalled the scenes they were going to shoot in the morning...
He was going to be filmed in the 'cage' - a part of the Library set - as his character changed into his werewolf form. Not normally a problem, as he wasn't the guy who ended up being stuck in the werewolf costume; but it did call for him to be naked for the 'before' and 'after' shots.
But the thing that horrified him the most was that Mike Myers would be there to see it all!
End of Part 1
To be continued...